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when there's nothing left to burn, you have to set yourself on fire (sábado, 19 de mayo de 2007),

It is unlike me to post twice in a day. But, well, there it is.

Last night I dreamt I died and was a ghost. And all anyone still alive could see of me was a ghostly sillhouette (with a ponytail and a girly blouse o_O).

Differences from life:
my sister was around
school was...bigger. And different.
school had classrooms like tanglin and nanyang, but twice their size
we do our igcses in said classrooms instead of the audi
fewer school lights are switched on after school
I don't have a little girl classmate!
There are no dormitories in my school
especially not with white painted doors like the lim tai see alt garden door

So. First I dreamt I just finished my second IGCSE paper in the afternoon and was going home (though the route I took looked remarkably like the one I used to take from fuhua with vivian and anita).
In the early evening, when the sky was steadily darkening, I realised I had forgotten something in school! So I walked back to school. So ms bee was guarding what seemed to be the entrance from the porch with two guards. I told her I'd left something, and at that instant she got a fax out of this small black handheld machine, stating both my parents' surnames and my name and the reason I had to get back in school. So she let me in, and I sprinted up the stairs to the classroom.
At class I realised my classmate was there (strangely a little girl who seemed ten or something). She said something about living in class and showed me where she did stuff. Then I went to one of the lower floors, seemingly underground, where there was a loooong wide path and lots of things on eitherside of it. I went to this dt machine like thing and I don't think I did anything. Though it almost seemed like after that I spent a few days at school in the dorm, with their white painted doors and everything.
So I went back to the foyer. My sister was there with ms bee, and when I came down she pointed at my shadow and said,"It IS true!" (or something) So I looked at my shadow and then at myself, and I realised they couldn't see me. My shadow was at a side-profile and didn't really look like me. It had a ponytail, and a plain indian yoga blouse thing. There were no eyelash shadows (meaning my eyes were glued shut) and there were no lip/open mouth shadows (suggesting my mouth had been wiped over).
So it turns out sometime while I was at school, someone violently ended my life, and I didn't even know it. And all anyone alive could see was my un-me shadow. I started feeling really depressed that I couldn't do all those things I mentioned in the first post, as well as no one being able to see detailed ME.
After that my sister and I would go on this MMO game place and play random grudge matches I think. Medieval ones. And she'd try to make me feel better about no one alive ever being able to see me again.

:(

sábado, mayo 19, 2007